7 Ways Parenting Prepares You for Black Friday
Suppose you’re a Black Friday regular, a one-time Black Friday shopper, or more of a Cyber Monday customer. In that case, we’ve all experienced the excitement (or craziness) of shopping on the Friday or Monday after Thanksgiving. And if you’re a parent, you are plenty prepared for success in a Black Friday scenario. How?
You’re good at holding multiple things at once – Any diaper bag resembles the never-ending magic of Mary Poppins’ bag. However, taking the bag out of it, you can often find any parent carrying someone’s water bottle, a child or two, a cell phone, keys, someone’s half-eaten snack, a child’s shoe, tissues, and possibly a Band-Aid. We were made for Black Friday consumption.
You’re used to no bathroom breaks – What parent even knows what a peaceful trip to the bathroom is? We are programmed to hold and hold and hold longer until there’s even the slimmest of possibilities that we can break free. Nothing screams Black Friday success more than a parent’s bladder control.
You know how to dodge obstacles – Ever step on a Lego more than once? Of course not, no parent has. This is because we all know the pain of doing it the first time. So, we are experts in avoiding obstacles. There’s no bag, loose articles of clothing, kitchenware, tech gadget, or even small child that we can’t maneuver around during Black Friday.
You aren’t phased by crying – Whether you currently have a toddler or haven’t had one in years, we all know what an emotional young child looks like. Those multiple-tantrum days prepared you for Sally in aisle 8 as she learns there isn’t another flat-screen TV in stock.
You are a snack supplier – Look in any parent’s bag, car, pocket, or stroller, and you will find multiple snacks. Parents carry enough snacks to survive for days. So, during your Black Friday shopping, you won’t waste any time stopping at the Food Court because you are the Food Court.
You deal with cranky people who could use a nap on the daily – An overtired child embodies about 50% of Black Friday shoppers. Paul, upset because he’s been up since 3 am and waiting in line for the latest tech gadget since his arrival, has nothing on your toddler who is going through a sleep regression and would rather take every article of clothing out of their dresser during naptime than actually nap.
You are an expert negotiator – When your children still live with you, half of your day usually involves negotiating something with them. Whether it’s dessert after dinner, going to a party, or wanting a 38th book at bedtime, children have the stamina to work their parents. But little do they know, they trained us for the opportunity to mediate a heated conversation over a parking space outside of Target on Black Friday.
Black Friday shopping is child’s play in comparison to parenting one. If you’re on the fence about jumping into the Black Friday madness, have confidence in yourself. Your children have prepared you for this, and the least we can do is put their training into practice and hopefully avoid Karen throwing elbows on her way up the down escalator in the process.