Working Dads – You Don’t Always Have to be ON
As a working mom, my blog discusses many of the joys and challenges of being a working parent. With my specific experience being a mom, a lot of my bias might skew more towards the working moms out there. But what about the working dads? They face their own struggles that are just as important to discuss. So, to all the working dads, this blog post is for you. Hopefully, it gives you the credence to embrace how you’re feeling and understand that it is ok if you aren’t always ON.
Over the years, we have experienced a change in gender roles for women specifically. What might get lost in that stat is the effect on men. If one spouse takes on a more active role in the workforce, naturally, the other becomes more involved with parenting responsibilities and vice versa. This could leave many fathers balancing work and life on a more consistent basis than before.
According to a 2018 Global Parental Leave report, at least 23% of men could be taking paid paternal leave but are not. The truth is it can negatively impact not only his health but his family and the company he works for. And according to the Pew Research Center, this convergence hasn't just happened overnight. It's been in the works since 2011. Ten years! So why are working dads still feeling like they need to uphold the always-on mentality?
Leave Policies
It’s true that when women deliver a baby, they are the ones physically going through the process and possibly the ones who continue that specific physical journey through breastfeeding. So, it makes sense that companies would offer maternity leave to new moms, but what about dads? For any women out there, who have become new moms and have a male counterpart in this journey, step back. Think of how it affected the new dad. Granted, their bodies weren’t used as storage for 9 months and then milked like a cow for however long following, but they are still adjusting to the new norm too. The sleepless nights, the debilitating love surrounding this new little person, and the balancing of the unique role are felt for dads too. Whether it’s child number one or number five, it isn’t something just moms experience. Companies need to be more aware of this and design their leave policies to help break part of the stereotype.
Working Dad Stigma
Speaking of stereotypes, this might be the overarching reason why men feel the need to always be on as a working parent. The stigma surrounding working dads is real, and frankly, utterly ridiculous that they have to endure this.
1. Men Would Rather Be in the Office – If this is true of your counterpart, it’s time to have a serious conversation about why that is. We all might enjoy work, but it shouldn’t be where we would rather be over spending time with family, no matter how stressful it can be for a new parent. So, more likely than not, this stigma is 100% false.
2. Men Are Probably Watching Sports – Why don’t women have this stereotype associated with them? Do women not watch sports now? As a football-loving female, I am just going to move on from this quickly.
3. Men Don’t Take Care of Children as Well as Women – Some women or men might feel this is the case in their specific situations, but that doesn’t mean it’s universal. Some women or men might feel the opposite is true in their family situation. This assumption cannot be made. Haven’t we heard from our parents enough times what happens when we assume?
No matter if you work 8 hours a week or 80, as moms and dads, this is a journey we travel side-by-side. Dads, allow yourself to turn the switch to OFF from time to time. You don’t need to hold everything together, nor are you expected to. We are all in this together.
What other stereotypes do you think surround working dads? Share your thoughts by commenting below.