Why “Sorry” is Such a Powerful Word

There is no shortage of strong opinions about the use of the word sorry. Some people believe there’s no place for it in the workplace. Others think there’s power in using it. Before having children, I might’ve skewed more on the side of limited use, but I’ve learned there’s a power behind it I never realized existed after having children.

Coming off of a pandemic-ridden 2 years, I’m sorry is a phrase that, as a mom, I’ve felt has been a necessity in teaching children emotional intelligence. Parents came face-to-face with quarantines, new work-from-home variables, and anxiety while patience wanned.

For example, during school quarantine #2, I tried feverishly to finish some work while our 4-year-old had his snack and played a game on his iPad. I asked him to bring his empty plate to the sink when he was done, and instead of following that request, he spun it like a top on the white living room rug. I wasn’t impressed and responded with a loud, “are you kidding me!?” in his direction. Not my proudest moment.

He froze.

I froze.

Then, almost instantly, the guilt engulfed me. His face alone made me want to crawl into a hole that would take me back 30 seconds prior. I remembered a podcast episode I heard from Dr. Aliza Pressman on Raising Good Humans. It talked about how saying sorry to your child when you make a mistake teaches them the importance of accepting responsibility. So, I got down to his level, face-to-face with his pouty lip, and told him I was sorry. I explained that mommies and daddies make mistakes sometimes, and we need to say sorry when we do, just like kids.

Fast forward a year, and now when I make a mistake, my son always tells me that it’s ok because everyone makes mistakes, and we need to do better next time. Now, grasping this concept didn’t come from that single morning snack situation. After that, there were many instances where I, my husband, or our oldest, made a mistake and needed to apologize. But the growing pains are worth it because it teaches two valuable lessons at an early age.

1.    The Importance of Accepting Responsibility

We are human, so making mistakes is inevitable throughout our lifetime. When we learn the gravity of the many responsibilities we have, we are more diligent in decision-making and conscious of the actions we take as a result. Strong relationships are built on being accountable for those actions and righting a wrong. No one wants to develop a deeper connection with someone who doesn’t know how to accept responsibility when they are wrong. It becomes exhausting for the counterpart.

2.    The Recognition of Self Awareness

When you say sorry, you recognize that you hurt someone and acknowledge their feelings. As your emotional intelligence grows, you become more insightful and sensitive to how others are feeling. It trains you to be a better listener, which I think we can all agree would be helpful in many facets of our personal and professional lives.

Often, connections with others are lost because of a miscommunication or because both parties want to be right. When it comes to the latter, a simple apology can change the trajectory of a relationship. When you take ownership over a mistake, you give breath to repairing a relationship. When you instill this early enough and lead by example, you change the trajectory of your children’s growth. And it doesn’t get much better than raising a kind, insightful human being. Think about how powerful their impact will be on others.

How do you view the use of the phrase, I’m sorry? Share your thoughts by commenting below.