Resident Spouses, You're Incredible and You’re Almost There
To every husband, wife, or partner entering the last year of their spouse’s residency…
Congratulations, you’re almost there!
Whatever residency your significant other is a part of, entering that final year of training as the better half is like watching your waiter emerge from the kitchen and realizing he’s got your order in his hands… it’s your turn!
From the overnight shifts that left you scrolling through Netflix options solo to the laundry loads of scrubs covered in God knows what, the life of a residency spouse is at many times lonely and thankless, but also rewarding. Although you aren’t the one directly going through the training, as the wife, husband, boyfriend, or girlfriend, you still get quite the education along the residency journey.
Residents and their significant others become your second family
No matter how close or far your family is, there is no one else that truly grasps residency life like other couples going through it.
In our situation, we moved 600 miles away from our family and friends when my husband matched into his residency program, and that came with a lot of… growing pains we’ll say. Thanks to a couple of events that brought together all of the program’s residents, fellows, and attendings, we quickly found our second family and a great group of friends.
It’s a match made in heaven. The residents can all relate to each other and the insane world that not only is intern year but every year that welcomes them throughout training. On the flip side, us spouses, partners, fiancés, girlfriends, and boyfriends could all commiserate over the holiday shifts, overnight schedules, the “passing like ships in the night” feeling we all would endure during certain rotations, and also that feeling of helplessness when your other half loses their first patient. No one gets that like residency couples.
Doctors are a lot smarter than me (and a trillion times smarter than Google)
I don’t consider myself an unintelligent person, but watching my husband night in and night out during residency retire to our spare room to read, go over case studies, or review patient charts for hours on end, leaves no doubt that he’s got a lot more brain mass than me (or Google.) I not only see this in my husband, but I see this in other residents and attendings within his program. I’ve had the opportunity to experience some of the attendings and residents from a patient perspective and would trust any of them with my care and presently do lean on them for medical guidance. Plus if you really want to prove the Google theory wrong, go ahead and Google your symptoms and tell me how that rabbit hole goes.
Residency can be enjoyable – if you make it so
For some of us, moving to somewhere new was what began our residency journey, and that’s when we all make a choice to either embrace the location around you and enjoy it or don’t. Moving from Connecticut to Cleveland was an adjustment, but it came with experiences our family wouldn’t have had living anywhere else. As big sports fans, we got to see the Cleveland Indians become AL Champions, Lebron James bring an NBA Championship to Cleveland, and we’ve had the opportunity to watch the Johnny Manziel show unravel and the Baker Mayfield resurgence begin. From fun wine and food events to a weekend road trip to Pittsburgh, we’ve tried our best to take advantage of our stay in Cleveland, even if it was only guaranteed to us for so many years.
So to all the husbands, wives, partners, fiancés, boyfriends, or girlfriends entering the last year of their significant other’s residency, do your best to enjoy the time you have left. And if fellowship is your next step, I promise it gets better.